Why we love the Internet
There’s just so much of it, isn’t there?
This internet. What on earth would we do without it? How did we ever live before it? What will we ever do if someone, one day, carelessly switches it off.
Today the internet is an amplification of society – it is central to politics, war, religion, friendship, family, has replaced the photo album and the telephone and is the first place we turn for information on just about everything.
Is there anything the internet can’t do? Well, OK, it can’t boil an egg. But there are 1,675,450 videos on it showing you exactly how to boil one perfectly.
We’re not ashamed to say – we absolutely love the internet. We simply couldn’t be without it. It’s everything good (and bad) about the human race, magnified.
What the internet has done really well is distilled the funniest things out there into a handy, take anywhere, compendium of humour available at the push of a start button on your laptop, smartphone or tablet.
For that, we are eternally grateful. It gives the common man a voice and, yes, it also means everyone is a comedian. But some are infinitely funnier than others.
Here’s some of our favourite funny one-liners sourced from across the hilarity that is the world wide web.
• I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car
• If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments
• A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it
• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
• The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room
• Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
• He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame
• Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose
• I intend to live forever. So far, so good
• Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with
• When in doubt, mumble
• A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist
• A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it
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