Top 20 things you need for fantastic Facebooking

We all love Facebook.

We all need Facebook. It makes the corporate world go round and enables us to engage with consumers like never before. Quite apart from giving us the tiniest intimate details of all our friends’ lives.

But no matter how much we adore the Book of Face, it has its own way, doesn’t it? A very unique identity.

And there are certain things which prosper on Facebook that simply wouldn’t work outside of the world’s biggest social network.

Here’s a few very Facebook things we’ve spotted that any serious Facebooker should have in their armoury if they are to play the social network game and win:

A catalogue of pets do the funniest things photos

The ability to scream piously into an abyss of deafening indifference

The skill of ignoring that nagging suspicion that Facebook is a soap opera and you’re Ian Beale

Kids (more specifically, babies…uglier the better)

A gallery of inspirational quotes mounted on unrelated but emotional images

An obsession with Starbucks and the weather (often in the same status)

The ability to turn the tediously mundane into startling must-read (at least in your mind)

A needy ‘friend’ who is eternally unlucky in love and rides horses/breeds dogs/spends more time with animals than humans

The ability to check your loved-one’s Facebook inbox on their iPhone in the 2.75 minutes they spend on the loo

At least 500 ‘friends’ you’ve never met and would fist-fight if they so much as looked at you in the real world

A ‘friend’ who only ever eats all-day breakfast

An Instagrammed food library

A mate in a band who only ever posts links from Soundcloud and freaks out if you don’t listen to every second of every song he/she has ever recorded

A bereavement of a mate who changes their relationship status every Friday

A racist relative who posts links to every right-wing story ever published on the Mail Online like an apostle

An ‘alternative’ friend who hates anything mainstream and has a pierced foreskin

At least one friend who hasn’t liked the Oreo Facebook page

An endless supply of links from Viral Nova, Buzzfeed or Lolz Pop

At least one famous Alcohol brand page like

One ‘friend’ who is only on your Facebook friends list as eye-candy

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