Winter weather whether we want it or not

We constantly moan about not having snow in Britain like we used to in the good old days.

Every year we claim that Christmases used be so much better back when it snowed every December and we could stick our ‘Santa Please Stop Here’ signposts in drifts of snow so deep we needed to wear wellies permanently throughout December and January.

It’s like a nine-month alarm clock failing to be switched off…droning on about the days when weather used to do what it was supposed to.

“Back when I was a kid the snow would come upto the downstairs windows,” one pal told me this week.

No it didn’t.

How do I know? Because I was a kid at the same time.

Yes, we had a few Christmases that were, indeed, white. But they were few and far between. Most were as they are now – grey, wet and, weather-wise, pretty miserable.

December’s weather has always been much like November, just a little chillier.

Historically, if you care to do some research, the real winter storms, bringing snow and forceful Arctic winds, come to the UK in January.

I’m not making this up. I’ve removed the rose-coloured spectacles people seem to wear permanently when they recall periods from their childhood and replaced them with reality lenses.

Remember those glorious childhood summers when it absolutely, steadfastly, refused to rain and the sun was so bright it was like (I imagine) standing in front of a permanently smiling Simon Cowell?

Other than the outrageous ‘drought summer’ of 1976, it never happened. Your memory is playing sepia-tinged tricks on you, fooling you into believing that things were so much better back then.

They weren’t. It’s a big fantasy. They were, for the most part, exactly the same as they are today, only with more kids playing outside because they hadn’t invented PlayStations or Facebook yet.

Last week the Met Office predicted we Brits may be in for our harshest winter in decades, with heavy snow and storms as soon as November.

Which only goes to prove you should be careful what you wish for.

All you who have bemoaned our lack of proper winters and white Christmases take note: This is entirely your fault.

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